It seemed too good to be true. I kept reassuring my low self esteem that yes, I am allowed a new piece of expensive technology. No, it's not just for other people. I was too scared to open the box for a few hours. Ran some errands. Kept checking that I still had the iphone bag, and that the phone was still in it. Then sitting at the tram stop to go home I slit the cellophane wrapper open with a fingernail and pulled out the delicate white box. The writing shone in the afternoon sunlight. Sliding the top off the box, there she was, nestled serenely in a white plastic cocoon.
'Don't drop the phone. Don't drop it. I can't afford another one,' I whispered to myself, hoping nobody else could hear. I slid the lid back on and placed it gently in its bag.
At home I finally disinterred my new magical piece of self-belief and self-worth and pulled out the super strong case I also got for it, to reduce the chances of ruin. Both black. Both new. Both confusing. I became very busy locating the phone's sim card holder and working out how to plug it in, how to disassemble the sturdy case, that the touch screen still worked with the phone in there. There was a need for tea - oh yes, there was a need for tea. But distracted as I was, there was no focus for any creation. I flirted briefly with the idea of one of Djulz and my dandelion specials, but opted for a green tea and lemongrass teabag in a lemongrass and green tea coloured mug.
The lemongrass and green tea took me to another place while I dealt with my techno-high, and then took me back and deposited me on a calmer surface than I had previously inhabited. Morphus, the cat who chooses to enrich our lives with her love, tried to climb on my lap when the lap was containing the iphone. I shooed her away, but on reflection decided that I don't need to be the sort of person who values technology over life. I welcomed the cat back on and showed her the phone, and we progressed together. Cat and tea and I assembled and synched and downloaded and sorted. Afterward, I took my iphone for a walk in the sunset. We took photos of the lights and the sky. On the grassy hillocks by the beach there were pairs of lovers canoodling. I sat down with my iphone and downloaded apps - one where you can pop bubble wrap and one called Art of Glow, which I think is from Japan and would entrance you if you were on acid, or if you weren't on acid but had been hanging out with people who were.
There is no need for a lover of a friend or someone you aimlessly fondle while you both wait impatiently for someone else. Not when you have an iphone. Not when your friends are in your pocket on facebook and twitter and you can look at their photos and read about their lives.
|a palm tree made more beautiful|
by my favourite shade of blue
|the pier under clouds.|
|city lights from the beach. |
And a single star.
|a lamp post and its lampdog, |
which is like a sundog
only without the sun.